SHLOCKTOBLOGGER – Week One

By Bryronic Thursday October 8, 2009

IT HAS BEGUN.

OCTOBER 1.

Got the Shlocktober ball rolling at 12:15 a.m. with the traditional viewing of “The Blob.” I love this movie for a few reasons. Of course, the main reason I bought it in the first place was because Steve McQueen was in it. I’m a bit of a Steve super-fan so this was a no-brainer, at least for the sake of posterity. At the time I bought it though, I didn’t think it was going to become one of my most-watched movies. It such a great example of 50’s horror kitsch, but it remains to be somewhat legitimate in the process. You get Steve McQueen, the only real actor of note, playing Steve (what luck!), a smart-mouthed teenager with a penchant for pretty girls and driving fast, which makes him pretty identifiable to just about every other teenager at the time.

There’s definite laughs to be had in here with all of the 50’s-era cool-guy slang and bravado, notably from Steve’s meatball friends…enemies…peers…whatever, it’s pretty tough to tell. First they seem to hate him because he passed them on the highway (while trying to save the old man who starts the whole mess), then they want to be his friend after he doesn’t rat them out to the cops for racing, which leads to them trying to help Steve save the town. The special effects don’t do this movie any favours either. Now, I understand that movies were far more limited at the time with what they could do with sOCpecial effects, but the fact that the big, bad, menacing Blob looks like a giant mass of coagulated strawberry jam makes me giggle every time I see it. The only thing more hilarious than the Blob itself, is the acting. For a fantastic lesson in scenery-chewing check out the old man at the beginning; that dude milked every second of his screen-time for all it was worth.

The funny thing about this movie though is that, for whatever reason, it all comes together in the end…or near the end. You watch, and you laugh, and you make jokes, but once you get to that one iconic scene of the people rushing out of the theater, and at that point you’re totally hypnotized. I think that’s why I love “The Blob,” so much: in spite of all the cheesey-goodness, it still ends up giving you that edge-of-your-seat experience that you don’t really expect to get out of something that, up until that point, is completely cornball.

OCTOBER 2.

Went with Tim Burton’s “Sleepy Hollow,” since I wasn’t really feeling like watching anything too intense. Admittedly, I’m not the biggest Tim Burton fan. While I can definitely appreciate what it is that he does, for whatever reason, I just don’t completely buy into some of his weirdness. He’s hit or miss with me. Even “Sleepy Hollow,” took a couple of viewings to grow on me, and honestly, I think this is the first time watching it that I completely “get it.” The one thing that I always understood, was how awesome Johnny Depp is in this movie, and knowing that he tried to play the role like a 12-year-old girl only makes it more fun. Burton really does excel at this kind of thing, and while I haven’t seen “Big Fish,” (nor do I plan to—not my bag) I would say that this is his best movie. However, Christina Ricci does not look good as a blonde. Just sayin’.

OCTOBER 3.

Thinking it was time for something I haven’t seen before, I went with “Wrong Turn,” and not just because I have a huge crush on Eliza Dushku.

I got pretty much what I expected out of this, except it was better than I thought it was going to be. There’s a high amount of predictability, along with your standard clichés, and girls that really should be wearing more clothes than they are if you’re going to be out in the forestland of West Virginia (helloooo?? West Nile Virus??). Somehow, it still delivers the goods…or at least, enough goods that at no point do I want to turn it off. It’s fun. It’s silly. It’s kinda creepy. There are some good jumps in there. The script is not great, but there’s the occasional amusing comment, and they give a shout-out to “Deliverance,” which was clearly one of the inspirations behind this movie. The gore is decent and the make-up effects are well done.

OCTOBER 4.

It was time to break out a classic…I guess. Well, at least it was time to get into one of those very well-known horrors that I can’t believe I haven’t seen yet, so I thought I should finally check out the original “The Amityville Horror,” from 1979.

Okay. Got it. Family was killed in the house. Fair enough. The montage showing what happens is mildly disturbing. I’m with you. So now somebody wants to buy the house OHMYGOD! WHAT IS GOING ON WITH JAMES BROLIN’S HAIR?!?! He looks like a wookie with the styling of an ewok. Apparently Barbra Streisand like her men a little more…scruffy. Margot Kidder’s kinda cute in this though. And Rod Steiger looks like…well…Rod Steiger, but he’s always awesome so it doesn’t matter.

Once again, I’m disappointed by another 70’s “classic” horror movie. This isn’t scary at all. When flies are the scariest thing in a movie, and that movie is not “The Fly,” then I’m not really diggin’ it. James Brolin is acting bi-polar, and Margot Kidder’s daughter has an imaginary friend. Ooh, scary!! Or not. I’m disgruntled enough at the fact that I sat through the first hour, so there’s no way I’m sitting through the second hour. I think, for the first time in the storied history of Shlocktober, I’m giving a movie an early exit.